To protect the identities of all parties involved, the author of this piece prefers to remain anonymous. To send comments to the author, email us. In ninth grade, I made out with a guy for the first time. We were both freshmen at a large Modern Orthodox Jewish high school and were somewhat friendly beforehand. I was barely 15 years old and was taken aback by a boy lavishing attention upon me for the first time. These few minutes in a random basement proceeded to shape my social life for the next four years, as well as my sexual identity to this day. Our rendezvous stayed about as secret as anything does in high school. As rumors swirled about what exactly occurred in that basement that fateful day, my personal life became a topic of discussion, with each participant offering a personal opinion.
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Dolphin was appalled. It took 35 years for Dolphin to learn what the current US supreme court nominee meant by treating women with respect. Before the Dolphin story broke, I was already preoccupied with the searing memory of my own high school debacle, because a group of my former classmates had recently organized an informal get-together. The emailed invitation made me feel as sick as the notifications about our 50th high school reunion had two years previously. The sexual revolution was brewing when I was in high school, but girls were still supposed to be virgins until they got married, or so we were told.
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What I wish I could have told them then, and what I wish I could tell them now, was just how dangerous and damaging that label turned out to be. When I arrived for the first day of middle school, still pining for a romance that could never be, I told my friends in the cafeteria about our magical kiss. Word got around and somehow one fairly chaste kiss turned into making out. Boys openly groped me in our school hallways. The rumors of my sluttiness made their way to the high school boys, who came on to me while we loitered on Wisconsin Avenue outside the local movie theater. Eventually, I let a year-old take me into the park up the street. He expected a blow job. I just wanted to make out. He got his way. Things escalated further when a boy asked if I would meet him in the stairwell during third period to talk about an issue with his brother.
Be open to the wisdom the Spirit will share. If you both comfortable having different faiths, your relationship can still be rewarding and fulfilling. Sometimes not even a quick text most of the time. But life is long and eternal and all righteous people will choose the right at the end. It's a gross feeling.
